discedo_ooc | THE IC ANONYMOUS QUESTIONS MEME

A big sausage pizza.

Whoa, now that is a serious plot twist.

Who is your favorite person and why? And let's do least favorite for good measure as well.

Augh, don't fourth wall a porno, you're supposed to be like, "It looks delicious, let me try some!" Scripting is key~ but wow okay moving right along now. Damn, though, if you wanna get into this, you better pop a squat and unclog your filthy ears, douche-bag! [ Breeeeeathe... ]

First off, what favourite people? I always alienate everyone, so there's no way I could have someone like that, obviously, hehehe! If I have to choose, I gueeess it would be Sasuke since he forced me to join some shitty team; he's helping me with my goals though, that's a pretty special fucking thing. SHOUT OUT TO SASUKE, YOU NEED TO MAKE MORE SOUP, 'CAUUUSE I TOTALLY ATE YOUR PORTION FOR LUNCH BY ACCIDENT. Pft, it wasn't by accident, that soup was calling for me. I picked out all the celery too, fufufu! Oh, can I choose two though? Between the two soups, I choose Hong Kong's soup, because that shit is literally orgasmic. Like, he can vouch for me, I had an orgasm right in his kitchen.

I hate everyone else. Especially gameboy, beardy and the plunger bitch. I hate her the most. Why? Well, gameboy - haha, oh man, I forgot his name oh well - is a little prick who thinks he's better than everyone else, Sadiq won't gimme his sword because he's stingy and gets nostalgic over rusty objects and... I don't need to talk about the drain incident. Just know you're going to pay for that. You know who you are.

You're fourth-walling it right back! But sorry, I guess I didn't see your aim. Insert sex obligatory sex joke here. Penetrating gaze, give me the shaft, this is so hard, etc.

So from what I can tell your main criteria for liking people is their ability to make soup. Are you really that shallow?

The hate seems more legitimate.

You cut to the core of me, Anon. No one has ever understood me the way that you do...

Um, fuck you? I already told you I don't have favourite people, so basing my favourites off of who is better at making soup is a totally legitimate way to determine who the best of the two are.

Or Sasuke and Hong Kong can brawl, it's up to them. Hong Kong is in the lead in the cooking and back rub sections. Sasuke is ahead in overall entertainment value.

And I told you I hate everyone else.

I seriously don't think that you can judge it properly until you force Hong Kong to put on a one-man talent show to entertain you while Sasuke gives you a back rub. Then you'll know for sure.

HOLY SHIT. THAT IS THE BEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD.

How can I talk Sasuke into giving me a backrub, though?

That's a toughie. He's super grumpy and rude.

Maybe you can convince him that it's for the good of your body and if he doesn't do it you're going to be useless to him as a fighter.

He isssssssss pretty gullible. He might eat that right up. Hong Kong would totally do a talent show, so I don't gotta worry about him as much. Maybe-! I got one, maybe I'll tell him if he gives me a thirty minute back rub, I won't complain the ENTIRE DAY.

You should definitely try it! I see this ending really well for you.

And then you pronounce an overall winner and then the two of you get married and move to a cabana. Right by the ocean. Water everywhere. It's gonna' be legendary.

Iyaaaaa~! I'm so spoiled! Living by the ocean with my stoic bride!

Can't I have both? There are so many things we could do with three people!

Or maybe fuck those guys, I'll take you instead, kufufu~

Are you sure that you wouldn't be the bride? You should say stoic husband, especially if you got somebody like me.

But I'm afraid that I can't marry a criminal, so you'll have to settle for one or both of them.

Uh, no, they are obviously the stoic wives, just look at them.

Sasuke's like five foot nothing and Hong Kong bakes. Those are like prerequisites for that kind of thing. Sasuke could say he prepared me a baaath and join me! Hong Kong could greet me in only a cute frilly apron at the door! Ahhh, this daydream is so nice!

You though. I wanna know who you are. I'm not a criminal, persay, not here anyway, so you don't have to worry about a thing. Yet. I can take care of you, Anon-chan~

Well you are pretty sassy. I like that in a wife.

And I don't know, you're not exactly super tall yourself. And I bet you could bake if you just set your mind to it.

Though I'm starting to think that you should marry a bowl of soup and a sponge.

I can sass you into next week and somehow I'm still pretty fucking manly, Anon, you haven't seen me at my best obviously.

Hey, I'm five foot eight, that's pretty substantial okay. I'm not some monster like Juugo breaching, what. Six four or five or something retarded? Holy skyscraper, forget about it. I like my size. I'm bigger than you think. [ Winkwonk. ]

Do y'know what? I am too, man. They'd treat me right.

I need to see you at your best, then! You could tell me about it, or do something to highlight your "best" qualities.

Alright, so you're not totally tiny and you're taller than Hong Kong and Sasuke. I'm still not sure that that makes you the husband in this scenario. A little bird told me that you spent some time in... what, a liquid cryogenic sleep? An aquarium? You know. So wouldn't that give both of them more life experience than you? Unless you were doing super important things in there.

I guess you'd still need someone to replenish your soup reserves and someone to use the sponge on your back.

Should I strip and show you how I can make my extremities bigger? Kufufufufufu!

[ Oh no, that cocky grin is replaced by a sour look. ] Try a holding tank for live experiments. You reached your point and just sailed right over it, Anon. Not only do I have volumes of life experience, it's more experience than the average guy and that's not something to always be proud of.

I'm starting to think you're just teasing me now. If you wanna tease someone, you should do it outright with a face so I know who to play with later.

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